The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
