She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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