put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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