Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
