she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
