so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
