Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
