I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
