either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
