dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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