She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
