Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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