I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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