I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
