She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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