I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
