We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
