Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just cropdusted the office
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
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