This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
