gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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