I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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