I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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