I'm drive I can fine osifer
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
