I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
