he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
