I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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