ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
