I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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