Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
