She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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