i can't believe i had my finger in that
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
