Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
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