please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
God I need to hump something, right now.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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