porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
