So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
We are all done wearing pants today
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
