Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
