I'm jealous of your bromance
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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