What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
