They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
