i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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