its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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