this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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