i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
