WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
