Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
