filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
