It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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