Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
