Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
