so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
