I wanna bring you to show and tell
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
The chlamydia really affected his face.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
