Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
